If you feel that a particular editor has made a mistake of THIS nature, then an abuse report is really the only way of proceeding.
But ... what a webmaster calls "all of my sites" on the same general subject, we nearly always consider to be "related" sites -- and if they don't have exactly the same content, we'd consider them "fraternal mirrors on vanity domains."
(I haven't attempted to verify any of your allegations, so this is all based on the assumption that what you say is accurate.) If you think the "relationship" (which you've confirmed) has already been spotted, thus by both propositions you (and not the other editor) show up as the abuser. Therefore, accusations of the other editor would be easily seen to be invalid at best, and most likely as additional abuse (slander) on your part.
As I said, this analysis is based strictly on what you say: and I have made no attempt to refute or confirm the allegations you make. You are free to use any of the "report abuse" mechanisms that have been set up. But I suspect that for your own purposes, your most productive procedure is to give up trying to force the ODP to provide a link to that one of your sites, and instead provide links from the others of your sites.