it takes so long

Is there a way to find out why my website isn't added - I have suggested it a few times, but last time was a long time ago - over a month and nothing...
it is so dissapointing... Is it possible to at least find out if it is still in a queue or that somebody decided that something isn't exactly right in which case all the wait is for nothing?

Is there a way to find out why my website isn't added

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I can tell you that. It's one of the following reasons.
- Nobody's looked at it yet.
- It's been looked at and moved to a better category for further evaluation.
- It's unlistable (self check)

Is it possible to at least find out if it is still in a queue

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No. See the announcement at the top of the forum.

Elapsed times can range from a few days to a few years. There is no need to re-suggest your website and doing so could be counter-productive because a later suggestion overwrites any earlier one.

somebody decided that something isn't exactly right in which case all the wait is for nothing?

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If this turns out to be the case -- better not waste time waiting. Start working, and if the ODP listing comes along and helps you some time in the future -- well and good. And if it doesn't ever come, or if it comes and doesn't really help you, then ... you won't have wasted any time waiting, you'll have been busy doing the right thing.