Now, you're asking for a combination of information that isn't directly available even to editors, information that is intended to be available only to editors ("this submittal is spam because of the following evidence"), and concepts of information that simply aren't well-formed from a logistical perspective ("Whose submittal is it? and what changes to it cause it to cease to belong to the submitter?") and concepts that simply have no relationship to any palpable reality ("number in the queue").
It is usually easy for an editor to say what can be said, or to see that the question should be left for a more experienced editor or more thorough investigation; it is not at all easy to describe what an automatic process should do, in order to be useful to submitters and not fatal to spam investigation.
And finally, we have to ask if this kind of expensive design and development effort is really the best use of available resources. The "what is my status" questions don't bother editors -- since the editors that would be bothered can ignore the forums where they are currently asked.