>But there's such a huge variance in submission waiting times,and so many pages littered with dead links,perhaps a less laissez-faire approach should be adopted.
Think about this.
You create and publish a site. How does that affect reality? Well, it is obviously one more opportunity for an an ODP editor to review -- one more "challenge", one more "task" (if you're going to go the micro-management route). Reality changed, and ideally the ODP should adapt.
Now, suppose you submit a site. How does that affect reality. Is there any more work for an ODP editor to do? Is there any new challenge? Is there, in fact, any change in reality at all? Obviously not!
So ... why start a clock at a moment when ... NOTHING HAPPENED?
We don't. We won't. So you're off here gearing up for a massive micromanagement effort, starting 10 clocks at irrelevant moments, nine of which will never stop.
Setting ANYONE'S priorities off that particular set of random irrelevancies, would simply be insane.
But ... that's bad enough. Reality is far worse.
So far, I've asked you to imagine nothing that any normal person couldn't figure out for themselves. For this next step, you may have to stretch your imagination a bit. Imagine that you are a malicious, malevolent, manipulative, money-grabbing spammer. (Yeah, I know, I find this hard to do also. Go read some forum threads in SEO forums, and chew some ragweed, or whatever it takes to get you into that mindset.)
Now, you know that submittals are taking 7 months, 12 days to process through this ODP micromanagement system you've set up for us.
(Actually, we'd suddenly find out that it was now 300 years, because all our most trusted and active editors had been co-opted to do the micromanagement work, and most of them had left because they came here to do site reviews, not micromanagement. And most of the rest of the editors left because they came here to review sites they were interested, not boring 95% doorway spam. But that was just the "insanity" bit. And you may have to trust me on this, but the fact is, I DO know the mind of an editor, because I carry one with me all the time.)
All that aside, imagine that we have a 7-month 13-day queue. What is your MMMMS going to do when he finds out about it?
Well, DUH! He's going to submit a thousand doorway pages off his domain to random categories all over the ODP! And he's going to think, "sure, all of these pages are empty, but in seven months, I'll go out to all the SERP perp forums, and I'll be selling URLs guaranteed for a two-week review time! And when someone buys my URL, I'll just make that page redirect to their site. I'll be RICH!"
And an MMMMS down in the next level of the Inferno thinks, "Wow, if I had a hundred domain names, I could submit them all now, and in six months I could sell domain names with a guaranteed six-week review time. I'll be RICH!"
Some other devil-in-training thinks, "You know, I could set up 500 one-page sites on Geocities, absolutely free, and in seven months I could get RICH, RICH, RICH,selling ..."
OK, you didn't think of that? Well, I wouldn't have either, but ... you know, people are already doing all of those things, to the tune of thousands of submittals daily, even though EVERYONE with a room-temperature IQ knows you can't manipulate editors' priorities that way -- there's that "enormous variance in that irrelevant interval" that you mentioned. But just think if the MMMMS's suddenly found out that their technique was guaranteed to work? That the editors had given total control of their priorities to them?
And the second critical point is, technical means aren't going to be able to stop this kind of spam, because every single jerk is going to do it a different way.
Sorry, man, but in this reality what you see as "variances in the irrelevant interval", editors see as "the only way of not giving entire control of all editing priorities to the very people who, more than any other beings in the universe, hate the ODP and all its works."
And we see that as a GOOD thing, for these reasons which you must recognize even as you deplore.